plz talk dirty to me
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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