some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i believe in u and ur pee
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
