his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
