Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
