the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
