what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize