You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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