we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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