Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
