I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
