i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
