; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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