Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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