Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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