I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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