So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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