Someone shit on the floor
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
