she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
