Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
