the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
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The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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