grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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