the day after is always just damage control
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You are a genius and a whore.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize