Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
