Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Your cock deserves a montage
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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