What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
