You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
