i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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