Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
