Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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