I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
3 2 1 whiskey
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
