today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
