there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
