bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
