Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
