it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
