What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
