Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
