SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
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I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
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I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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