he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
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I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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