Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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