That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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