Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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