One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
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I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
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I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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