He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
