Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
