god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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