So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
