I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize