He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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