hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Are we still banned from the library?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
