she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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