I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
