Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
