So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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