conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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