Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
