absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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