well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
