haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
