I CAN MOONWALK!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
