weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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