Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
